still plugging away...

it's 58 degrees and incredibly sunny outside in nyc... and i'm inside the icu again for my second-to-last ICU shift. it feels good, but at the same time, it was really hard coming to work today knowing that i have 48 hours of work left before monday 7AM. kkkk. anyway! i'm glad to be finishing this month, but at the same time, my mind is so so numb. to be honest, i really haven't had the energy to prepare for my trip - and unfortunately the grind of this month has taken away my raw excitement. :P argggg...

God has really spoken to me this week despite all that, though. on tuesday night i went to a "sunday school" class held by my church. this is the third class i'm attending taught by this amazing woman, ordained by the Holy Spirit to really speak into people's hearts. this series is on salvation, and this week she started with Justification. she emphasized over and over again that this is a DONE DEAL - a one time event, settled, irrevokable. when God looks at me, He not only sees that i am not condemned, but that i am not condemnABLE because i am in Christ! wow.

this whole year i've been studying romans in Bible Study Fellowship, then my pastor preached on Romans 6-8, and now i'm attending a 5 week class on Romans 8. i think God is pointing me towards something, don't you? ;) so i've made the commitment to memorize romans 8 - the "summary of summaries" of the Gospel. please please quiz me and keep me accountable - and if anyone would like to take up the challenge with me, i'd really appreciate the accountability! :)
as for the fasting - it's pretty much broken down because of ICU. minus my vacation to cali and to the dominican republic (i.e. any time that i spend in nyc), i'm going to fast from sweets until the trip. and after this month i will begin to work on fasting and PRAYing with God. :) again, accountability would be much appreciated! :)

and here are a few more things to pray for regarding the trip:
1 - preparation for my dad and me. my dad's getting kind of anxious, because he feels "out-of-the-loop" (since we aren't in s. carolina). they are meeting together, but we aren't... please pray for team unity, and also for prep for me and my dad together. actually, i'm going to write an email to my dad now asking him how he thinks we should prepare together... hold... DONE. i'll let you know how that turns out.
2 - more facts regarding kenya:
this is where it is located in Africa:

as you can see from the map, the south and west area is coastal, and therefore the land consists of watered plateaus. most of the people in the country live in this area. the north and east contain desert.

kenya gained independence from britain in 1963. after that there were many years of political instability and "un"democracy, including a period of a one-party system. in 1988 the election was held with the"mlolongo" or queuing voting system - where voters lined up behind their candidate, rather than having a secret ballot. subsequently, widespread reform occurred, and 2002 marked the first truly free and fair election. kenya is a presential representative democratic republic. the President is both head of state and head of government. there is a multi-party system. the government holds executive power. the National Assembly holds legislative power. the Judicial system is separate from both the executive and the legislative branches of the government.

the current preseident is Mwai Kibaki, and the next elections will be held in December 2007.

>1/2 the population is <15 years old!

correction from the last email - i forgot to tell you the meaning of the anthem of kenya, which is the cool part! Ee Mungu Nguvu Yetu = "Oh God of all creation" :)

and finally, something hilarious - read to the end about the dolphins. :)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17827041&GT1=9145

the Lord guides...

if i never believed it before, i certainly do now.

the day before yesterday i was on 24 hour ICU shift. i left the hospital to go pick up our dinner (it's my excuse to get out of the hospital for 10 min) at Dallas BBQ - located on the SE corner of 73rd and 3rd (humor me with the details - it helps to contribute to the story later, i swear). i'm walking along the East side of 3rd ave, somewhere between 75th and 76th. i reach into the back pocket of my scrubs and feel that my phone is there + a green consult sheet for the ICU. yes, it's the original my resident gave me. yes, it has a ton of patient info on it.

i go to Dallas, pay for the food. it's not ready, so i go to Duane Reade one block over to pick up a soda. i go back to Dallas, pick up the food, and cross to the West side of the street to walk home. right around 75th and 3rd, i anally check my back pocket to make sure the consult sheet is still there.

it's gone.

i search all my pockets.

it's really gone.

yes, i'm freaking out at this point. i check Dallas and Duane Reade, all the while scanning the floor. i don't understand how the sheet could have fallen out, since my pocket was covered by my coat the entire time, and i didn't reach for my phone or the sheet. i figure it must have fallen out when i first checked my pocket way back at the beginning of the trip, so i head up the east side of the street.

at this point, i'm totally freaking out. basically, i'd lose all credibility with my resident if i returned without this sheet. in my mind i was ready to lie about the situation to save my skin. i persuaded myself that was the wrong thing to do but already practiced making vows to redo the consult for my resident. in my desperation, i pray, "God, please guide my steps."

between 73rd and 74th, God says, "Cross the street."

"Uh, God, that's not a good idea. i really should retrace my steps the way i came."

"just cross the street, silly!"

sooo, skeptical, i cross the street. i'm walking now towards the SW corner of 74th and 3rd. from behind the building, a piece of folded paper comes floating across the sidewalk. it skids off the curb and stops in the street.

you guessed it - it was the green consult sheet i was looking for.

God is way too good to me. yes, the chances of me finding that sheet agan were essentially zero. especially based on my own not-so-bright ideas.

praise God,
praise praise God.

He is the God who guides my steps.

praise praise God!

yay!

guess what? i found coverage for my shifts - HOORAY! :) praise God. i think i don't quite believe it's real, so i don't feel the excitement, but i'm glad that at least for now i'm set. pray that nothing unexpected comes up! ;)

last wednesday ended up being the worst call i've had yet. i barely slept all night - so i slept most of Thursday and had to eat a little. please continue to pray for me as I learn about the spiritual gift of fasting!

and lastly, here's a few cool things i found out about Kenya -

- the motto of Kenya is "Harambee" - which means "Let us all pull together" in Swahili
- the anthem of Kenya is "Ee Mungu Nguvu Yetu" - I wonder how the tune goes! :)
- some demographic information:
population - 34,707,817 (compare with US population: 301,399,772)
population density - 153/mi2 (similar to South Carolina - 52.4/mi2; other reference points: California 217.1/mi2, NYC 26,720/mi2)
total area - 224,080 mi2 (size of Texas: 268,581 mi2; size of California: 163,696)
GDP per capita $1,445 (US - $37,800; Tanzania (neighboring country) - $600; South Africa - $10,700)

i am weak

this morning, i was going to cover one of my co-interns during the day, in exchange for one of my shifts in May. i was going to be post-call, but thankfully my night after about 11pm was quiet, and i slept about 5 hours before getting up to draw all the patient's labs - in the hopes of getting home early.

at 7:35a, my chief comes to me and tells me that what we've set up violates the resident-protection laws, and i need to go home. i'm crestfallen, but i also feel so stupid. DUH. i didn't think it would be a big issues - and we even emailed the chiefs and told them ahead of time, but i guess we didn't make the situation totally clear.

but praise God, in His grace, He provided a back-up call person who i can pay back in April. praise praise God. and even better, his co-intern is a good friend of mine. :)

this experience really humbled me - i think i was trying to take too much into my own hands. now, still, i have 2 more shifts that need to be covered, and i'm working on them - but i'm so thankful that my ignorance did not turn into disaster. i have such disregard for rules and regulations sometimes (remember the biking incident!) - i think God is continuing to remind me that RULES MATTER - and that we should do our best to obey them.

i was also humbled today again - to know that i can hurt someone i love soo deeply with my words and actions - especially when i am thoughtless. i need to continually confess and repent, confess and repent - and stand on God's mercy. i have begun to fast - so far i've only gotten through breakfast and lunch (lasting until 3pm). this thursday i would like to fast until 6pm. i think God knows that i need to see fruit to keep going with this - and He's already shown me fruit in little ways - helping me to understand my innards - the roots of my sin. all my fears - especially of abandonment and rejection - take root in not knowing how loved I am by God my Father, my Lord Jesus Christ, and Holy Spirit my Counselor. Lord, sustain me by Your grace!

thank you for those who have responded to praying for me - i look forward to praying with you and for you. :) with much love... ~c

A hymn

Hid with Christ in God, O gladness:
O the meekness and the might,
When the risen Christ has lifted
All our thoughts into the light,
Light of Truth wherein no sadness
Dims the radiant peace we find,
As we set our whole affection
On the beauteous things of Mind.

something old, something new, something borrowed...

hi everyone!

long time no blog - how are y'all? :) these few months have sort of whisked by amidst lots of work and learning. i'll tell you about it all sometime later - but for now, i'm going to kenya! (see below). i already have an addendum to add regarding that info:

1. my team's been decided - i'm going to kenya.
2. our team is fasting every thursday. this is one spiritual discipline that's i've always shied away from, so i'm in one way very excited that the team is doing this - but in other ways i'm like "blahhhhh!!" i won't be fasting on thursdays persay, because i tried last week and found that i was a danger to my patients - but i will be fasting on the post-call day closest to thursday - this week being tomorrow. and i'm starting with breakfast and lunch. please pray for me and keep me accountable! :)
3. please let me know how i can pray for you - and again, i would love to pray with you as individuals before my trip. :)

***

No, no, I’m not getting married, don’t worry. This phrase just popped into my mind, because what’s coming up for me fits this description! After a 3 year (!) period of learning to “stay,” God has finally given me permission to “go” again. This time, I’m traveling with a group called Life Water Missions (http://www.lifewatermissions.org/) to Kenya/Tanzania from May 16-27. I’ve never been to Africa before, but that’s not the only “new” part – I’m going on this trip with my Dad! That’s the part that will be the greatest blessing but also a challenge. J

So what exactly will we be doing? Life Water Missions was started by Hickory Grove Baptist Church in North Carolina, and for the last 10 years they have been going to Kenya to set up medical clinics under trees and to bring the Gospel to people in their huts – 6 churches have been established during this time, and many people have come to call on the name of Jesus. This year, we will continue to set up clinics and churches, and as our team leader Randy puts it, “Take land for God” through prayer and through action. Last year, they served 2,500 people and saw 1,500 people saved!

Will you pray with me for Kenya and for this trip? I’d like to raise a support team of at least 18 people (ok, a bit random, but that’s the number that came to my mind ;), and I would love to pray with you individually before and after the trip. Here’s some things on my heart & mind:

PRAY FOR KENYA – we will be traveling to the Siaya district of Kenya, where people still live in mud huts and farm only for subsistence. This district has the highest rates of malaria in the world, and is one of the poorest areas of Kenya. Here’s a brief website on Kenya: http://www.24-7prayer.com/ow/country.php?country_id=79, and as I learn more about the country I’ll send you more info as well. Please keep me accountable in making sure that I DO research into the background of Kenya, as being equipped is vital for spiritual battle! J (side note: half of the team may go to Tanzania – the details are still being worked out and I’ll keep you updated on what’s going on)

PRAY FOR THE TEAM – a majority of the team comes from North Carolina, but about 1/3 of us are from other states. Please pray for team unity and especially for those of us who won’t be able to prepare spiritually with the other team members. Please also pray for a strong prayer support and also financial abundance. Everything we’re using on this trip – including medical supplies, syringes, bandages, etc. must be purchased and taken with us. If God leads you to contribute financially, please follow the directions below.

PRAY FOR MY DAD AND ME – that we can grow together as we prepare and go. J

PRAY FOR ME – so, I’m actually supposed to be in the ER during that month (I’m going to Kenya on “borrowed time”), and I’ve worked it out so I just need to get 4 ER shifts covered – MUCH easier said than done. Please pray that God will help me to work that out, and that the Chiefs and my coworkers will show me favor/be willing to help me out. Please also pray for me as I prepare spiritually – that I would be actively seeking God Himself and not His Hand.


How, then, can the call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? Romans 10:14-15

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If you would like to join in praying with me for Kenya and for this trip, please drop me an email at coc2006@gmail.com with your email and telephone number – so I can send you updates and so I can call you/pray with you before I go. I’ll also be posting things on http://where-who-how.blogspot.com/.

If you would like to contribute financially to this trip, you can either:
Write a check and mail it to:
LifeWaterMedical Ministries, P.O. Box 353, Fairhope, AL 36533.

Or 2. Make a donation online at www.lifewatermissions.org (click on the “support” tab; you can even donate via PayPal! J)

Please just indicate that the donation is for me on the check or in the textbox online.