it's very late...

or early, rather. it's 3:40AM now in the ED - finally i can sit down and just relax. i like the ED - i learn a lot, feel like i'm actually helping people - because most of the people are relatively healthy, and i can send them home with a big bandaid, a prescription, and/or instructions to follow-up with their PMD. i'm also learning a lot. more than anything else i want to make sure i can answer curbside questions from my friends in the future...

i've been wondering lately if i'll miss patient contact. i do enjoy talking with patients - but again, is it because they'r patients, or is it just because they're people? honestly, it feels good to be called dr. and to make people feel better... but the lifestyle of the ed - esp switching often between nights and days - would be horrible for me. last night was really bad - the first night overnight always is. the 2nd is fine - so if i had to do nights all the time i'd be ok - except for the fact that i'd never see anyone! i basically slept the whole "day" away today... argh, i dunno. well, at least it's already decided, and all i have to do is keep moving forward. and if i really do hate radiology - which i doubt i will - then i can always switch out. it's never too late. maybe i should just find a rich husband... heh heh... God...? ;)

i've also been thinking how fragile human relationships are... God, should i go on this retreat with the sunday service ministries? i'm actually kind of tired of expanding the number of people that i know... that's also why i feel weary when i think about going back to boston - starting my social life over... *sigh* i just got used to living in nyc! oh well, what can i do. again, i'm glad it's decided - one of those "i-know-it's-the-right-thing-but-i-still-perseverate" things...

i'm hungry again... i wonder when hot and crusty makes their muffins... ;)